The following remarks were made by Cheryl Steele, former associate dean of students, at the memorial service held June 27, 2016 for Dean Tom Edwards.
Dear Tom,
Of all of the people who know, admire and love you, I am not sure why I am up here today, but I am honored and humbled. I represent so many others who are present here and attending in spirit, including your girlfriend group of admirers (more about that later). I hope you won’t mind if I share some favorite memories. How to pick them — there are so many...
The first time I met you was at a placement table at the NASPA Conference in DC over 30 years ago. I was impressed with you and Kenyon and was so pleased to be invited for a second interview. You arranged for Don Omahan and me to meet — I arrived and could not find him (or someone I imagined to be Don) and began to panic thinking "this is a great first impression." About the time I was really getting worried, you tapped me on the shoulder and put Don and me with each other — we had been standing within feet of each other! You brought us together and a great colleagueship and friendship was born among us all — and you had a story you loved to tell for many years. One of your many stories — you were a master.
You took a chance and hired me, and we worked together for three years (you went on a working sabbatical the fourth year, and Don stepped into the dean's position). I learned so much about myself during that time, and about student affairs, and, of course, invaluable Kenyon insights. Those were the days when there were four of us in student affairs and you thought we were well-staffed at that time, given that it had been just you for many years!
You were wise, patient, detail-oriented (you would give me red-lined versions of Newscope, noting the typos and errors), encouraging (I could see the coach in you), and patient.
Your commitment to students — and to Kenyon — was inspiring. I often regretted that students at the time did not understand the depth of that, but wow, so many alums did. They stayed in touch and came back to see you (even the ones who had not always been in your office for positive reasons).
How you transitioned at Kenyon throughout the years deeply impressed me, especially regarding co-education. I wish I had been there to see the advocacy and wisdom that helped guide the College through those times. I have no doubt that your always thoughtful, considered approach was central to that. I know of your dedication to making it successful, including the Crozier Center for which I had responsibility (and which you asked — and reminded — about, often).
I was disappointed when you retired but also so happy for you and for Gloria. Your dear Gloria, who you talked about always with love and a smile and with the gratitude you knew was key in that partnership. What a team you were: she always quietly, strongly, supportively by your side. Though, I have to admit that I would get a kick out of her calling you on things occasionally.
I loved hearing about your early days together in York, then Toledo, then Gambier. And to learn about your children (and granddaughter) and to come to feel that I knew them personally. You were so proud of each of them.
After you retired, over the next 15 years we began a tradition of having regular lunches at various restaurants in Mt. Vernon and Knox County (back then, the choices were much more limited, but we were determined to try them all). Don rejoined us when he returned to Kenyon after serving as dean of students at Albion College.
There were many good stories from the lunches — our favorite (and I will never be able to tell this as well as you could) was the trip to Bladensburg to visit a place we had heard about. We set out on a beautiful fall day in the Jaguar you bought after you retired — you in your tweed jacket and riding cap and me dressed for work. We arrived, parked that car, which was very out of place, and entered the restaurant. We were greeted by a sea of Carhartt-clothed, orange vested persons, who stopped talking and seemed to turn around simultaneously as we walked into the room. It was the opening day of hunting season, but we were oblivious. They looked at us as if we were from outer space. We looked at each other, shrugged, and took our place in the long line.
People began to talk again, and we strongly suspected some of that was about us: who were we and how in heaven's name had we landed there.
Finally, one older gentleman turned around and asked you "Is that your car?"
"Yes," you gently responded.
"What kind of car is that?" he further asked.
"A Jaguar." you answered quietly (but I suspected with some pride).
"I thought so," he said. And that was the end of that conversation. It was a classic moment and we got a lot of mileage and many laughs out of that story.
Over the years, I watched with amazement (I should not have been surprised) at the alums who stayed in touch with you and invited you back to reunion activities, often to speak. You set an inspirational pace for me and others to follow.
I was also impressed with how you embraced technology after you retired. The irony of this did not escape me — we could mess up a copier. You created wonderful, detailed albums of your special travels with Gloria with captioned photos and CDs for me. Thank you for introducing me to a number of artists, including Eva Cassidy.
What a treat it was to regularly visit you and Gloria out on Laymon Road — my parents still recall the gardens and tea house tour. You seemed to have a constant stream of alumni and parent visitors.
You got to know a number of persons who arrived at Kenyon after you retired (but who continued to respectfully call you Dean Edwards) who became Tom's girlfriend group. Jack Au was often a part of the group. Lisa Schott you already knew, but you enjoyed meeting and getting to know Jo Usher, Maureen Tobin (and Doug Downey, who got to know you as a deceptively sharp card player), Erica Carroll and Jill Atkinson. A special memory for all of us is the trip to Columbus for dinner and to see Diana Krall. You enjoyed having people ask you how you got so lucky to be with so many women. You just smiled. Thank you, Gloria, for sharing Tom — in this and so many ways.
Some of us left Gambier, but we always gathered with you and Gloria during our annual visits to Kenyon, first at your home on Kokosing Drive, and most recently at Eastern Star. What a gift it was to spend time with you in October.
I was so fortunate to host you and Gloria in Virginia four years ago, along with Maureen and Lisa, who were your travel hosts. I have such fond memories of that time and the gift of being able to show a small amount of the always generous hospitality you shared with me. What treasured memories I have of spending time with you and Gloria on Sanibel and in Tampa. You both made each visit so special.
Tom, you touched so many lives as a mentor, supporter, challenger, and loyal friend to generations of students, alumni, families and countless student affairs staff. I am just one among many and count myself so fortunate to have worked with and learned so much from you — and especially to have that develop into deep friendship and respect in the years since. Like many others, I looked to you for wisdom and had the benefit of your rich professional and personal experience and perspectives, and your wonderful, dry humor — and always a good story. And the best gin and tonic around!
You loved Gloria and your children (and Laura, of whom you were so proud). How fortunate we were to have you in our lives, and how fortunate Kenyon was as well. Yours was a life very well lived, and one I can only hope to achieve. You will remain in thought and in heart — love always to you, Tom — and happy thoughts.